My Times Are In His Hands

I have been absent from my blog for while for good reason. In June 2014 lots of things changed. I had double vision and went to my doctor who told me if it returned to go to the ER. It did return so I went to a local ER and had a CT scan but I was not given a correct analysis. I was sent back to my doctor who forwarded the files to a neurologist and I was sent directly to an oncologist. To make a long story short my breast cancer of 2002 has returned and is now in my bones. Stage 4 – terminal with a life expectancy of 2-3 years.

Several weeks of doctor’s visits were shortened to a paragraph. I had some time to process it all and thought it might be cancer but I was surprised at the extent it had taken over. My family surrounded me with their presence and love and continue to be there for me. Dear friends near and far are encouraging me and praying for me.

I have now been in a cancer drug study for 6 months. I get two shots once a month and take two different drugs each day. The shots are the real thing but the pills could be placebos. I did have extreme pain in the beginning and was given some pain patches to use. I was up to a 75 gram patch at one point and this month only used one 12.5 gram patch one time. My back does get stiff but usually some naproxen will handle the pain. I sleep majority of the time in a lounge chair as it is much more comfortable than a bed.

In the midst of all this I have continued to tutor at a classical Christian tutorial for two mornings a week teaching two classes of high school students. I also continue to be Mom’s primary caregiver and am grateful for my family who jumped in to help. I plan to continue to keep my readers up-to-date here on this journey.

Psalm 31:14,15 has been dear to me – ‘I trust in you, Lord; I say, “You are my God.” My times are in your hands’.

This life, therefore, is
not righteousness,
but growth in righteousness,
not health,
but healing,
not being,
but becoming,
not rest,
but exercise.
We are not yet what we shall be,
but we are growing toward it.
The process is not yet finished,
but it is going on.
This is not the end,
but it is the road.
All does not yet gleam in glory,
but all is being purified.                         Martin Luther, 1521

Becoming,
Janice

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8 Responses to My Times Are In His Hands

  1. Bobby Kelland says:

    I love you Janice.

  2. Jo-Anne KAhl says:

    You are amazing and such an inspiration. Blessings always!

  3. Leisa says:

    Janice, we are praying for you and your mom, and following your journey updates on FB. We love you and pray you would know how deep and wide and vast is His love and care for you.
    Ron and Leisa

  4. Ava says:

    Wow Janice, thank you for sharing this. Your compassion and care, your willingness to be vulnerable during such a difficult time is a beautiful picture of God at work in a strong woman. Praying!

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